Now imagine a cross between The Hills Have Eyes and Fota Wildlife Park

Hey, if I wanted to see a lifeless cock, I would have stayed at home! etc

It’s this place outside Killarney. In fairness, the grey November day did it no favours, and some of the animals were actually quite cool/alive. 

Crazy minstrel lemurs. They have an ‘everything is alright’ alert to let each other know that nothing fucked up is going down. You can hear it from two miles away.

These chicks love the cock. The peacock! Not to be confused with the German fetish star, Da PeeKoch. 

A coati mundi with half a tail, and a coated mini-me with emo hat. 

‘Why did I bother dressing up?’

This is a face that says ‘Rod Hull is a fucking liar’. 

Sup. 

Raccoons looking sketchy as always. 

‘I yearn for Christmas’. 

‘I went to university you know’. 

Fuck Harry Potter’. 

‘We mostly dine on hookers and vagrants’.

The piss de resistance was the playground. 

Who will scale the slightly raised platform of mystery? And who will fall from the slightly more raised platform of terror? 

Picnic like a junkyard dog with our artisan table and chairs.

Who doesn’t like a wet arse? 

Possibly a bin – or possibly an incredible tube of mystery! Suitable for newborns only. 

Spring! 

So yeah, lots of fun. Get your shots. 

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